12 November 2004

bureaucratic bullshit

i'm not positive, but things seem to be coming to a head here, not a good head, more like a really bad pimple, a volcanic cancerous cyst.

the last time i heard from dr. murray, the bone dr., the one who holds my fate in his hands because he's the admitting dr., was yesterday morning. he promised me he wasn't gonna discharge me until they find somewhere for me to go where i can be cared for till i heal.

in the meantime, i'm still waiting to speak with dr. chang from pacific rehab, so i can stay there, instead of here at the hospital, which i think would kick my medicare back in and pay for things. but chang seems to be avoiding me, so i don't know. ortho dr. murray has not come by today yet to see me either, since all these delays happened, so i don't know his plans for me. he knows i have nowhere to go if discharged and seems to be on my side and nicer than before. maybe he's waiting for chang as well, before he comes and talks to me.

so i'm still waiting to talk with murray and chang about my fate. medicare called me today and verified that as of the thirteenth, tomorrow, my status has been downgraded to custodial care, which medicare won't pay for, so the bills start coming to me tomorrow nov. 13, unless i move somewhere else and get re-classified -- happy birthday to me.

i'm still waiting on my friends to deliver my wheelchair and clothes, they should be here sometime today, but that's what they said yesterday and they haven't shown up yet. they haven't been very available lately either, so i'm not sure about their plans any more either. i'm afraid my cat, which they are supposedly feeding, may be starved dead, unless they've made other arrangements that i don't know about. so far they have always come through for me, i don't doubt their sincerity, just their scheduling and communication skills.

i left a message on my lawyer's voice mail, saying i was in dire need of a patient advocate, besides the email i sent last week, and i haven't heard from him either. he may be in south america on a case, i'm not sure.

there's a medical-care foster family who wants to take care of me if i'm discharged, so i might have to go live with them until things become more stable, and wait till mom or dad comes here. that's a decision that won't be made until i find out about dr. chang's and dr. murray's decisions. but the foster family wants me for longer than just a few days, so they might not even agree to that, or i might not be able to bring myself to agree to that option because they are so scary to me -- xtian meat-eaters. but i will if i have to, if i'm gonna get discharged to nowhere.

clear as mud? me too. right now i'm fantasizing that dr. murray is trying to help me find somewhere to go; hence, the lack of communication from him.

more later.


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