billiards
today has been very eventful here in the hospital. many ungood things happened as far as social work and insurance. i thought they might be turning for the better. but now it looks as if things are turning for the worse again.
my nursing care changed back to skilled, to where my insurance will again cover it, after it got downgraded on nov 13. but it seems my "physical therapy" which means dragging my body into my chair from the bed, will be ending tomorrow which plunges my insurance back into the "useless" category.
for now it seems i'm only going to be able to remain here in the hospital under skilled nursing care one more day or so, and then be discharged. the saga continues ....
it feels like i'm about to reach the end of my rope and beginning to dangle..swinging in an arc wider and wider until i end up smashing into other things like a shattering billiard ball.
one problem is i don't have a doctor familiar with me or this OI disorder in it's adult form, so it seems i'm having to try and educate yet another medical facility again on my own, or maybe i'm just being a wimp. this is becoming a bad habit. yes, it's all my fault. i didn't acquire a decent ortho or family dr when i was healthy, uninjured and now that i am injured, no one wants to touch this case or even talk with me about it for reasons ranging from bureacratic to anything else they can dream up. mostly fear and ignorance i think.
plus i use medicare which keeps getting switched on and off depending on how i get classified by physical therapists, occupational therapists and whoever else puts in their two cents. so, in a nutshell, this hospital just wants me to go away and they are about to succeed in sending me back home so my cat can take care of me. actually, that doesn't sound like a really bad thing to me at this point.
as i remember, it wasn't easy to get a good orthopedist when i was healthy and unhurt. i didn't really need a dr. at the time, so i just kind of momentarily gave up and did that procrastination thing and let life happen, until bang, now i'm hurt, marooned without a decent orthopedist on my side to advocate my wants and needs.
another problem is that my admitting physician, is an orthopedist, but not very familiar with adults with OI -- only children. plus, i've been so frank and forthright like usual and can appear to be bitchy at times so that no one except the actual caregiving people who work with me every day and know my real personality are able to relate with these dilemmas, much less side with me. the administrators, bureacrats and bookkeepers simply don't want me around because of my medicare status.
so i'm on my own here and going down the tubes fast once again. of course now i'm trying to find a doctor and a social worker on my side, but it's practically impossible and way too late from a hospital bed. it seems i would learn from experience, but not yet. so it's into the cracks i fall. i deserve this i suppose. but that's not going to stop me from fighting till my last breath and trying to continue to survive. i'm not quite yet ready for the kivorkian method.
it seems this is just like any adventure ... good, bad, ugly. that's how it should be i suppose. tune in tomorrow for, "as the stomach turns."
my nursing care changed back to skilled, to where my insurance will again cover it, after it got downgraded on nov 13. but it seems my "physical therapy" which means dragging my body into my chair from the bed, will be ending tomorrow which plunges my insurance back into the "useless" category.
for now it seems i'm only going to be able to remain here in the hospital under skilled nursing care one more day or so, and then be discharged. the saga continues ....
it feels like i'm about to reach the end of my rope and beginning to dangle..swinging in an arc wider and wider until i end up smashing into other things like a shattering billiard ball.
one problem is i don't have a doctor familiar with me or this OI disorder in it's adult form, so it seems i'm having to try and educate yet another medical facility again on my own, or maybe i'm just being a wimp. this is becoming a bad habit. yes, it's all my fault. i didn't acquire a decent ortho or family dr when i was healthy, uninjured and now that i am injured, no one wants to touch this case or even talk with me about it for reasons ranging from bureacratic to anything else they can dream up. mostly fear and ignorance i think.
plus i use medicare which keeps getting switched on and off depending on how i get classified by physical therapists, occupational therapists and whoever else puts in their two cents. so, in a nutshell, this hospital just wants me to go away and they are about to succeed in sending me back home so my cat can take care of me. actually, that doesn't sound like a really bad thing to me at this point.
as i remember, it wasn't easy to get a good orthopedist when i was healthy and unhurt. i didn't really need a dr. at the time, so i just kind of momentarily gave up and did that procrastination thing and let life happen, until bang, now i'm hurt, marooned without a decent orthopedist on my side to advocate my wants and needs.
another problem is that my admitting physician, is an orthopedist, but not very familiar with adults with OI -- only children. plus, i've been so frank and forthright like usual and can appear to be bitchy at times so that no one except the actual caregiving people who work with me every day and know my real personality are able to relate with these dilemmas, much less side with me. the administrators, bureacrats and bookkeepers simply don't want me around because of my medicare status.
so i'm on my own here and going down the tubes fast once again. of course now i'm trying to find a doctor and a social worker on my side, but it's practically impossible and way too late from a hospital bed. it seems i would learn from experience, but not yet. so it's into the cracks i fall. i deserve this i suppose. but that's not going to stop me from fighting till my last breath and trying to continue to survive. i'm not quite yet ready for the kivorkian method.
it seems this is just like any adventure ... good, bad, ugly. that's how it should be i suppose. tune in tomorrow for, "as the stomach turns."
posted by jezebel at 02:44
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